I am learning to move with intention,
grounded, aware, and open to the beauty around me.
God, I trust You here,
in my breath and in my becoming.
– denise marie
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
The gift of now…
There is a quiet joy that rises when I finally slow down enough to notice where I am. Right here, in this breath, in this moment, in the soft, ordinary beauty that surrounds me.
It’s the way trees sway like they’re whispering a gentle reminder, you don’t have to rush your way through your own life. It’s the sound of my breath returning home to my body. It’s the simple holiness of noticing colors, textures and small mercies.
Presence invites joy to rise quietly, like a seed sprouting beneath the soil, it just asks for a softer gaze, a slower pace, a willingness to see what’s been holding us all along.
When I choose to be here, fully, I remember that beauty is never far. It’s stitched into the fabric of everyday life, waiting for me to look up, breathe deeply, and receive it.
– denise marie
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
God’s presence…
There is a sacred freedom that unfolds when I rest in God’s presence. In His nearness, the need to perform or prove myself fades. The masks come off, the striving ceases and I begin to breathe again, deeply and honestly.
I’m learning that returning home to self and to God, is freedom. It’s the soul remembering who it’s always been…Here, I am defined by love.
Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty. And in that holy space, I am finally free, to heal, to rest and to be.
– denise marie
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
God is my source…
There’s a stillness that comes when I remember who sustains me.
When I stop stressing and start trusting, I find peace that doesn’t depend on my circumstances.
God is the source of my strength, my provision and calm. His presence grounds me and my soul exhales.
– denise marie
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
A sacred surrender….
It’s in the stillness where I’ve met God most intimately, in the raw, unfiltered spaces where I have nothing left to offer but my honesty.
I’ve learned that healing isn’t found in rushing to fix what’s broken or pretending the pain didn’t happen. It’s a slow unraveling, a sacred surrender. It’s the way my spirit leans into His presence when I don’t understand, and in this space, is where I find rest.
I am learning that peace is not the absence of pain, but the nearness of God in the middle of it.
– denise marie
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
The simple things…
There’s something sacred about the simple things that fill my days with quiet joy, a reminder that peace is created, moment by moment.
In these still spaces, I breathe easier. My home becomes a sanctuary, a place where my soul exhales. I find joy in tending to what’s living around me and within me. These simple rituals, aren’t found in doing more, but in being present to the beauty already here.
– denise marie
I am Free…
I am called to be free.
Free from the spirit of fear,
free from every attack sent to destroy my joy. Free to walk boldly in my purpose,
to love, to serve, to be a vessel of His light.
I am learning that my identity isn’t found in doing, but in being, being still in His presence, being rooted in His Word,
being covered by His grace.
The Holy Spirit leads me beside still waters, and there I remember,
I am loved. I am chosen. I am free.
– denise marie
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
You are the light of the world…
Light has a way of breaking through. It doesn’t ask permission, it simply enters and shifts the atmosphere. That is what Jesus declared about you, “You are the light of the world.”
When the world feels dim with fear or discouragement, your light can be the reminder that God is still moving, still faithful, still near. Sometimes your light looks like a gentle smile, a word of encouragement, or a prayer whispered on someone’s behalf. Other times it looks like courage, choosing to trust God when it would be easier to give up. However it shows up, your light matters.
So keep shining. Even the smallest light can change the atmosphere of the darkest room. ✨ – denise marie
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
Worthy are you Lord….
Even in the shifting winds of life, You remain steady. I whisper Your name and remember, You are Lord. You are Lord over my joys and my sorrows, over the things I understand and the things I cannot yet see.
Worthy are You, Lord, no matter the circumstances. My praise does not depend on what I feel, what I have, or what I’ve lost. My praise rises because of who You are, faithful, unchanging, sovereign.
When storms gather, You are the anchor. When blessings overflow, You are the source. And when I cannot trace Your hand, I will still trust Your heart.
So today, in this very moment, I choose to lift my eyes. I choose to whisper thank You. I choose to praise You because You are Lord over my life. My trust, my hope, and my future rests in You.
– denise marie
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
Planted deep…
Yesterday on my walk, I was in awe of this tree, its beauty and strength drew me in, I felt so small, yet safe as I stood under the branches. While standing in its presence I felt Gods peace as He quietly spoke to my heart and inspired me to write this blog post.
The roots of a tree run deep into the soil, unseen yet steady, anchoring it through storms, winds and seasons of change. What we witness above the ground, the strength of its trunk, the spread of its branches, the beauty of its leaves, all which flow from what is hidden below, in the depth of its roots.
So it is with us. When our lives are planted in God’s Word, when our trust and hope are rooted in Him, we are not easily shaken. Storms may come, winds may blow, and life’s circumstances may press hard against us, but we will not be moved. Our strength is not in ourselves, but in the One who nourishes us.
God’s Word is the soil that feeds our souls. His promises are the streams of living water that keep us flourishing, even in seasons of drought. His presence becomes the anchor that grounds us when everything else feels uncertain.
May we choose to plant ourselves where living water flows, to stay rooted in His truth, and to trust that He will hold us steady no matter what comes.
Hold onto peace, hope, faith and love, because He cares for you. – denise marie
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
Power of prayer..
There is power in prayer that cannot be measured. When I pray, chains begin to break. Yokes of bondage are lifted, and what once held me captive loses its grip. Prayer opens the door for freedom because it invites God’s power into places where I feel powerless. It is not my strength that breaks the weight, but His. In prayer, strongholds fall, healing begins, and hope rises again. This is the gift of prayer, it does not just touch my life, it sets captives free.
– denise marie
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
Be still and remember…
So often I forget, that the battle is not mine, that I was never meant to fight in my own strength. I rush, I plan, I worry, thinking I can fix what only God can heal. My heart grows heavy, my thoughts race, and peace slips through my fingers.
But then He whispers, “Be still, the battle is mine.”
In that stillness, I remember His faithfulness. I remember that He sees the whole picture when I only see the pieces. I remember that His power is made perfect in my weakness, and His victory is already secure.
When I surrender, I find rest. When I trust, I find peace. And when I let go, I find Him holding me, steady and sure.
So today, I pause. I breathe. I lay it all down and remind my soul, the battle belongs to the Lord. My place is to be still and trust His unfailing love.
– denise marie
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
Peace over my soul…
Standing at the edge of the ocean, I feel the rhythm of God’s heart in every crashing wave. The vastness of the sea reminds me of His endless love, deep and without measure. The breeze whispers peace over my soul, and the sunlight dances on the water like His blessings poured out without end. Here, in the quiet roar of the waves, His presence surrounds me, steady, sure and faithful. At the shore, I am reminded that just as the ocean never ceases to move, neither does His love, His peace, nor His covering over my life. – denise marie
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
Today, I rise in hope.
Today I pause and remember Your faithfulness.
Thank You God, for showing me that even when life shifts, You remain the same. Your goodness threads through my days in ways I cannot always name, but I feel it in the quiet, in the laughter and in the gift of each day.
Gratitude swells when I think of how consistent You are. How present You remain and how love is not just what You give but who You are. I rest in that truth and I rise in that hope. – denise marie
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
His love is certain…His presence is enough.
There are moments when grief feels like it swallows the air around me. Loss shakes the ground beneath my feet, and I can’t always find my balance. My spirit feels scattered, and I wonder if I will ever feel whole again.
But even in those broken places, I hear a quiet whisper that steadies me, God is my source. Not the shifting tides of emotion, Not the memories that bring both ache and beauty, Not even the strength I try to muster on my own. My source is Him, the One who created me, who knows me, and holds me through it all.
In His presence, I find what the world cannot give me, peace that steadies my heart, hope that rises when despair tries to drown me, love that covers me when I feel bare and exposed. It is not about pretending the grief is gone, it’s about knowing that even here, in the middle of the ache, His hand is steady, His love is certain, His presence is enough.
So I lean in, I depend on Him, I remind myself that no matter how lost I feel at times, I am never beyond His reach. He is my source, He is my anchor, He is the breath of peace that fills me when I cannot find my own. – denise marie
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
A love like no other…
God’s love is the foundation that steadies me, the light that guides me, and the healing balm that restores me. Nothing compares to this love, it is the anchor of my soul.
He holds me close, reminds me that I am not alone, and whispers peace into the places of my soul that ache. This love restores, renews, and carries me through every season. Truly, there is no greater love.
– denise marie
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
She is home…
After several very hard days visiting my family member in the hospital, driving home Monday evening was heartbreaking as I came to the realization that I would not see her again on this side of heaven. My heart was broken, yet in this very moment I captured the overwhelming beauty of the moon just over the peak of this mountain range, It’s greatness quickly spoke to me as if to say, all is well…She is home.
– denise marie
“But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” Isaiah 40:31
I am learning that grief and hope can exist together…
Grief is heavy, tender, and unpredictable, it comes in waves that crash when I least expect it. Yet even in this ache, I am not without hope. God’s presence holds me steady when my heart feels broken. His love meets me in the quiet tears, His peace whispers through the sorrow, and His hope rises like the morning sun. I am learning that grief and hope can exist together, and in that tension, God’s love continues to carry me forward. – denise marie
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
God is my refuge…
God is the ground beneath my feet and the air that steadies my breath. When life drains me and I feel emptied, He meets me there, whole, steady, eternal. His presence is not far off, it is the refuge I return to, the place where I remember who I am. He is the stillness that heals, the love that does not withdraw and the shelter that cannot be shaken. Even the hidden, fragile places of me are safe in Him. And when I release what I cannot carry, I discover He has been carrying me all along. – denise marie
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
Your presence…my refuge.
Your presence is my refuge.
Not in the grand gestures, but in the quiet, steady whisper of your love that reminds me that your presence is with me. I breathe, I receive peace and trust you. – denise marie
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
God is with us…
God is with us, always. As I spend time with Him, I am learning that His promises are true, you see, He is with me, in the moments when I feel put together, and in the moments that I feel undone.
When I choose to be still in His presence, I begin to notice the true peace that only He can provide, It’s not the kind of peace that comes from circumstances aligning or everything making sense, it’s a deeper, lasting, and unexplainable peace that leads me yearning to sit in God’s presence, allowing Him to be my refuge, as His love covers me. – denise marie
“Sa if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
I rise…
Some mornings, the battle begins before my feet touch the floor. Depression tries to creep in quietly, telling me it would be easier to stay down, to stop trying, to just surrender to the heaviness. But I remind myself, I am responsible for my healing. Not in a way that blames me for the pain, but in a way that empowers me to live the life God has promised me.
Healing is an act of courage. It is waking up and choosing to breathe deeply, even when my chest feels tight. It is drinking water, stepping outside and allowing the sun to lift my spirits, and whispering a prayer when the words feel stuck in my throat. It is saying, I will rise today, even if it’s slow, even if it’s messy, even if I stumble.
God does not leave me, His presence is the hand that lifts me, the voice that steadies me, the love that never lets me go. I rise because God has spoken life over me, I rise because healing is mine to claim, I rise because my story is not over, I rise because His light is stronger than the darkness.
– denise marie
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
Let my life tell the story…
There is a peace that comes from loosening my grip and allowing God to be the shaper of my life. I used to think I had to hold it all together, to push through the pain, to figure out my own way, but God has been teaching me to trust Him, and to rest in His presence.
Even the broken pieces of my story, nothing is wasted, they are becoming part of something more beautiful than I can imagine. Something that reflects His love and brings Him glory. My healing, my joy, and my wholeness, all of it belongs to Him…let my life tell the story of Your faithfulness.
– denise marie
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
My daily prayer…
My daily prayer is that my identity is rooted in Jesus, that who I am flows from who HE is. When I live my life in that truth, the way I live changes. I strive to reflect who God is, in my identity, it means that I live with intention, I let His love and my obedience to His Word, shape my decisions and my choices. Every moment that I am alive, let it be an opportunity to be a living testimony of His grace, His light and His love.
– denise marie
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
Let my life be a reflection of love…
May my life be a reflection of God’s love.
Not just in words, but in the way I carry peace, the way I forgive, the way I hold space for others. I want my life to mirror the tenderness You have shown me in my darkest hours, and the grace that lifted me when I could not stand on my own.
Teach me to walk with a rhythm of gentleness and strength, to embody a love that is not fragile but eternal. Every breath is an invitation to lean deeper into God’s presence, and every step a chance to reflect the light He’s placed within me.
– denise marie
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
In Him…I am free, I am whole, I am home.
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36…Today, I breathe in this promise. Freedom is not about escaping life’s challenges, it is about living fully in God’s truth. I know at times it’s not easy, and in those moments, I lean into His presence and quietly sit still, as I listen for Him to speak lovingly to my heart. His truth breaks chains, quiets fear, and awakens my soul to the life He offers. In Him, I am free, I am whole, I am home.
– denise marie
Healing…a slow return to self.
Healing is not a straight line, it is a slow return. Some days my body remembers what my heart has tried to forget. But even in the ache, there is a way back.
I step outside, let the wind touch my skin, let the earth steady my feet. I breathe in a prayer, breathe out what I no longer need. With every inhale, I feel God draw near to me. With every exhale, I come home, to Him, and to myself.
Peace meets me here, in His presence, in breath, in the sacred rhythm of being held and made whole. – denise marie
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
Today I choose to see His love…
Before the world rushes in, I stepped outside and let the stillness greet me, the air is cool, the light is tender, and I am reminded that this moment is sacred. It is here, in the soft hum of creation, that I feel closest to God.
I close my eyes and breathe deeply, letting the worries I woke up with loosen their grip. Each inhale feels like a prayer, each exhale is a release. The trees stand tall as if in worship, the sky opens wide in quiet invitation, and I remember, God’s presence is not something I have to earn, it is already here, waiting for me to receive. Holy Spirit whispers, stay here, daughter, in this breath, in this step, in this unfolding, right now.
So today, I choose to see His love in what surrounds me. I choose to slow down enough to notice grace hidden in plain sight, I choose to believe that His presence is not far away but woven into every moment, every breath, every beginning. and in that knowing, my soul finds rest. – denise marie
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
Hope rises quietly…
On a recent bike ride, I stopped to capture this beautiful picture. Here, God reminded me that He is with me, that His presence surrounds me like the brightness of the morning sun. I am covered by His love and His peace surrounds me.
– denise marie
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
Fresh air, open sky & movement…
Today I stepped outside and let the sun touch my skin. The breeze carried ease into my spirit as I pedaled my bike and felt the world slow down. Fresh air, open sky, the steady rhythm of movement, these are holy reminders that joy lives in the ordinary. Being present doesn’t require much, only my willingness to notice. And in these simple moments, I remember that life is enough, and so am I. – denise marie
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
The journey matters…
Wholeness is a tender returning, again and again, to myself and to God. Healing happens in the quiet moments when I breathe deeply and notice the way the sunlight touches the trees and when I remember that life is sacred in its smallest details. Basking in God’s presence while admiring nature, reminds me to root down like the trees and rise like the sky. With each inhale, I receive God’s peace and each exhale, I release what I cannot carry.
The journey has not been simple, each step, even the painful ones, has shaped me into the woman I am becoming. You see, my walk with God is about learning to trust His pace, to see the beauty along the way, and to remember that every part of the journey matters. With Him, I am whole, here, I am home.
– denise marie
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
Every breath we take…God is with us.
There is tenderness in our becoming, the way we rise with strength and the way we keep moving through shadows toward light.
Always remember that hope is being renewed. Every breath we take is a reminder, that God is with us, even in the waiting, even in the unfolding.
We are not broken beyond repair. We are a living testimony of grace, and His love will keep carrying us, day after day, until we see how radiant we’ve always been.
Rest in this truth, we are Gods beloved…Whole, enough, loved and always held.
– denise marie
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
He calls me by name…and steadies my soul.
Woman of valor…Warrior of God, I hear Him call me by name, and it steadies my soul. I am not diminished by the weight of my wounds, instead I am chosen, strengthened, and lifted to stand in the fullness of who He created me to be.
To my sisters walking this path, you are more powerful than you know! The same God who clothes the lilies in beauty and commands the stars by night has placed His Spirit within you. When the world calls you weak, remember, you are a woman of valor. When the battles come, know this, you are a warrior, equipped with divine strength. Rise, beloved, your life carries holy purpose.
– denise marie
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
The soft rhythm of life…
Peace is found in the slow moments, the gentle inhale, the steady exhale and the quiet noticing of what is good right here, in the now. When I stop rushing and allow myself to be present, I feel the gift of breath, the soft rhythm of life moving through me. Gratitude rises when I slow down enough to see it, the sunlight spilling through the window, the sound of my own heartbeat, the miracle of being alive. Living in peace is not about having a perfect life, but about receiving the present moment as sacred, enough and full. – denise marie
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
I was created to rise…
The same God who calls the whale to rise from the depths of the sea is the God who calls me to rise from my own depths. The deep waters of pain, fear, and sorrow do not define me. Just as the ocean cannot hold back the whale when God summons it upward, neither can the weight of my past or the heaviness of my heart hold me down. God whispers, “Come up. Breathe. Be seen.”
And in that holy invitation, I remember, I was created to rise. – denise marie
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
Eshet Chayil…A woman of valor, a warrior.
Eshet Chayil…אֵשֶׁת חַיִל
a woman of valor, a warrior.
These words are more than a title, they are a truth etched into the soul of every woman who has walked through fire and still stands.
Valor is not only strength in battle, it is the courage to keep living with an open heart. It is the quiet resilience of rising after heartbreak, the sacred power of choosing love when bitterness could have taken root.
I see myself in these words, a woman carried by God’s grace, a warrior not because I am strong but because I rise, again and again, trusting the One who heals, who restores and who calls me beloved.
Eshet Chayil…this is who I am becoming.
– denise marie
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
The vine….
In Scripture, the vine is a picture of deep connection and life-giving dependence on God. In John 15, Jesus says, “I am the vine; you are the branches.” A branch can’t bear fruit on its own, it needs the life flowing from the vine.
This means we’re not meant to strive in our own strength. Our growth, our purpose, our very life come from staying connected to Christ. When we remain in Him, His life flows through us, producing fruit, of love, peace, kindness and faith.
The vine reminds us that true strength isn’t in self-reliance, but in abiding in Him.
– denise marie
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
Love is…
“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind… and love your neighbor as yourself.”
These words from Matthew 22:37-39 are simple, but they hold the weight of everything that matters. Love God fully, let every thought, every action, every breath be shaped by that love. And then, let that same love flow toward others and toward yourself.
It’s not a checklist, it’s a way of living. A steady rhythm of receiving love from God and giving it back through how we care, how we forgive and how we show up in the world. In the end, love is the thread that holds it all together. – denise marie
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
Life is a gift…
When I open my eyes to the beauty around me, I find my heart opening to gratitude. And in that stillness, I see it clearly, the gift was never just the scenery, it was the chance to be here for it. – denise marie
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
God meets me in the garden…
Healing asks me to slow down, to notice where my feet are planted, to feel the air on my skin and the rise and fall of my breath. It invites me out of the past and away from the anxious thoughts about the future, and into this sacred space where God meets me, right here.
It’s in the present, where I can hear His whispers, where I can see His fingerprints in the smallest details, and where I can trust that the same God holding me now, will hold me all the days of my life.
– denise marie
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
Set apart by Grace…
When I look back, I see the fingerprints of grace, guiding, protecting, and drawing me closer. Galatians 1:15 reminds me that my story began in His heart long before it began in my life. I was chosen with intention, loved with eternity in mind, and called with a purpose that cannot be erased.
So I stand here today, not by chance, but because He was pleased to call me His own.
– denise marie
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
Resting in…Gods transcending love.
The love God has for me transcends everything…time, distance and even my own understanding. It is not bound by circumstances or changed by the shifting seasons of my life, His love was here before I took my first breath and will carry me beyond my last. I thank you that I can rest in that truth. – denise marie
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
Courage doesn’t mean, at times I don’t feel afraid…
Some days, strength doesn’t look strong, it looks like getting up again. Taking the next breath, showing up with a trembling heart and steady faith.
Joshua 1:9 reminds me that I’m not walking alone, even when the path feels uncertain. God isn’t asking me to be fearless by my own power, He’s promising His presence in the middle of it. And courage doesn’t mean I don’t feel afraid, it means I trust I’m being held while I take the next step.
Wherever I go, He is already there, and that is enough. – denise marie
“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” – Joshua 1:9
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
The gift of the hummingbird…
A hummingbird danced near my window, so quick, so delicate, yet full of boldness.
It felt like God was reminding me, that even the smallest ones carry light, beauty, and purpose. – denise marie
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
New life from barren branches…
Today I stood next this tree in my backyard that had once looked lifeless, its branches bare, weathered by seasons that stripped it of everything. But now, tiny green buds and leaves are reaching out like whispers of hope, life is returning. Isn’t that just like God?
He brings new life from places we thought were done. Where there was loss, He plants promise. Where we felt barren, emotionally, spiritually, even physically, He breathes life again. Slowly, gently, faithfully.
I’m learning not to rush the blooming, just to be still and notice. To trust that the same God who renews the trees is tending to the garden of my own soul, bringing new life.
– denise marie
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
Hello August…
August meets me gently. Not rushed, no pressure, just a quiet invitation to keep going.
There’s something sacred about slowing down enough to hear my own soul whisper back. It’s been layered, with grief and grace, beauty and brokenness. I’m accepting that, some parts of me had to fall apart, so truth could rise.
I’m learning to sit in the quiet, with open hands, breathing through it with a deep inhale and a soft exhale, a holy space where I find Him and find me again. – denise marie
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
Trusting God…
Sometimes trusting God is not always easy, especially when life brings difficult challenges, but I know that trusting God is the doorway to peace. When I release control and lean into His wisdom, I make space for grace to move in. Prayer becomes my lifeline, not just words, but a deep surrender, a quiet knowing that He hears, He sees, and He cares. Prayer opens us up to healing, to clarity, to strength that I didn’t know I had, and to hope that holds me steady.
As I trust God with each step, I begin to see that He’s been faithful all along, working behind the scenes, weaving purpose into every moment. – denise marie
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
My Journey Home….to God & Self 